Marriage

“The purpose for God in marriage is that two become one.” Here you will find resources designed to help married couples develop intimacy in every area of their lives.

Marriage Articles

Seven Ways to Keep Your Marriage Strong While You’re in Seminary
I’ve spent fourteen years of my life either as the spouse of a DTS student or as a student myself. Yes, you’re right—I probably need to get a life. But I tell you that to tell you this: my husband and I still like each other … a lot. And you can emerge from seminary with a decent marriage, too.

Marital Intimacy SOAP Notes
It’s been a hard day—the last surgical case was especially long. And now you’re finally home. Clinging to a glass of lemonade, you collapse into your recliner, spiraling down into a persistent vegetative state in front of the TV, hypnotized by CNN.

Paralyzed Athlete: Building Solid Marriages
When Ron and Cindy married, Cindy was the picture of perfect health. A fine athlete, she enjoyed a weekly round of tennis and played on the church softball team. However, after she began to experience numbness in her legs, she sought a medical diagnosis. The report …

Books

Sexual Intimacy in Marriage
Sexual Intimacy in Marriage cuts through the fog of misinformation and partial truths about sex to help heterosexual Christian couples find the fulfillment God intended for their sexual relationship.

Cross-Gender Relationships (Sexual Intimacy book excerpt)
Many warn that because of the danger of cross-gender friendships, men and women should never be friends. Movies such as “When Harry Met Sally” hint that male-female friendships will always develop into something more. Comedians joke that men have no female friends, only women they haven’t yet slept with. And they say women have no male friends–they merely have men they keep around “just in case.”

Control?: A Couple’s Guide to Contraception
Formerly The Contraception Guidebook: Options, Risks, and Answers for Christian Couples, this book is written in a personal, engaging style.

The Infertility Companion: Hope and Help for Couples Facing Infertility
The Infertility Companion draws on the Bible and medicine to shed light on questions right out of the headlines. Produced in partnership with the Christian Medical Association, the book includes discussion questions and a workbook suitable for individuals, couples, or small groups.

When Empty Arms Become a Heavy Burden: Encouragement for Couples Facing Infertility (2nd ed.)
When Empty Arms Become a Heavy Burden brings solid facts, detailed information, and a message of encouragement to infertile couples and those who work with them, along with answers to the questions they most often ask.

Posts on Marriage

Does the Pill Cause Abortion?

By Bioethics, Marriage, Uncategorized4 Comments

A couple of weeks ago William Cutrer, M.D., and I did a radio show during which we discussed our new book, The Contraception Guidebook. The interviewer quoted a source who said women taking the pill, which is supposed to prevent ovulation, have “breakthrough ovulation” about 50 percent of the time. I found another source on the web tonight (after looking for fewer than two minutes) that put the number closer to 30 to 40 percent. Not surprisingly, the sources quoted in the research I found tonight were more than ten years old. Before I go further, let me say I’m not a big fan of the pill. What I am a fan of is fairness in reporting. Truth. Honestly. That sort of thing. So here goes. Back when I was an infertility patient, we could tell how many babies I had the potential to conceive in a given cycle while…

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Assessing Wheat

By Marriage, UncategorizedOne Comment

This is the second in a series that assesses Intended for Pleasure, a text on sex that many consider a classic. In the process of coauthoring Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, I discovered many weaknesses with Dr. Wheat’s book. The information below about the oral contraceptive pill was pointed out to me by my coauthor, Dr. William Cutrer, with whom I recently wrote The Contraception Guidebook. On p. 117 of the updated edition of Intended for Pleasure in a chapter titled “For the Preorgasmic Wife,” it says, “Do not be concerned if your orgasm continues to come from manual stimulation of the clitoris. The idea that satisfaction for the wife comes from the penis in the vagina is only sometimes true. Your goal, now, is satisfaction given by a loving husband and achieving the fulfillment of orgasm.” This is a good start. In fact about one in ten wives do not…

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Problems with a Standard Text on Sex

By Marriage, Uncategorized5 Comments

Many counselors still recommend Dr. Ed Wheat’s book, Intended for Pleasure, as the primary sexuality text for married couples. Yet when doing research for the book Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, which I coauthored with an ob-gyn, we found some real problems with Dr. Wheat’s book. I will outline here some of these problems over the next few weeks. Stop reading here if you are offended by words such as penis, vagina, intercourse, and penetration. Let’s start with a quote from Dr. Wheat’s book: “At the time of first intercourse, the husband should not persist in striving to bring his wife to orgasm with his penis in the vagina. If she has some soreness, there is no reason to make this worse. After the penis is inserted, the husband should have his orgasm quickly, withdraw the penis, and stimulate his wife’s clitoral area gently with his fingers to bring her to…

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